Welcome to the photo album of the 1998 Chixdiggit USA tour, along with the Nobodys and in support of the Queers. The format of this photo album is different from previous ones, because here at Chixdiggit.com we realised that the only stories you got to read were ones that related to particular pictures that stood out.

That was so wrong of us. There is so much more to a tour than the few pictures that turned out well can describe.

Here is how the new photo album works. Somewhere along your journey you will come across some red text. When you click on it (go ahead, click it!) you will see the corresponding photo in the frame above. (did you try it?)

Now you must obey one simple rule: don't scroll down the entire list of photos in the top frame. We won't stop you, but without the story, the photos don't amount to much, and the effect of the interactive photo album is pretty much lost.

HERE WE BEGIN...

The story of the 1998 summer tour started about 2 years ago, when Joe Queer phoned us up in San Diego and asked us if we would be interested in touring with his band. Some 600 days later we were asked again, and decided it might be fun to do an all-ages tour . The Queers would be the perfect host for this, as they are well known in the "all-ages-circuit" and consequently play pretty big shows.

All that stood between us and the tour was our new tourbus, which was being fitted with a new engine. After to some careful planning, and the sacrifice of a free weekend, our mechanic, Dave, managed to return our little bus to us about 26 hours before we had to be in St. Cloud Minnesota. We drove the van to KJ's house, then to Young Dave's, and then as a last stop, we went to Mark and Mike's house. Our bed spreads and pillows in place, tee shirts stowed away, clothes folded and placed in our individual closets we were ready for the drive.

That's when the starter failed. You will notice as the story progresses, that when you replace an engine, many older parts begin to fail and eventually need to be replaced. but here we are getting ahead of ourselves.

Dave, our trusty mechanic, along with a most patient assistant came to the rescue with a housecall, and within a few hours from the initial failure, we were on our way. St. Cloud, here we come! Travel time: 22 hours

We drove up 4th Street, turned right on 5th Avenue South, crossed the bridge and drove up Edmonton Trail. Our favourite Japanese restaurant! Cafe de Tokyo not only has great Ramen, but also an excellent Sushi chef. As good a time as any to pull over and take a break from driving.

Unfortunately the place was closed, but we're flexible, so we had Jerk Chicken at the Jamaican restaurant next door, did an interview with a Vancouver reported who was writing for an Arizona newspaper, and then continued our journey with an all night drive.

To get a bit of an understanding what life is like in the van, you should imagine the following: Our tape deck is busted, and we don't listen to the radio much, so it's always pretty quiet. That way, when Mark is driving, Mike can read, Young Dave can do what he enjoys most, and KJ can listen to his walkman and play with Mike's electronic Fishing game.

By early morning we had made it to the Border at Portal North Dakota, about 2 hours south of Regina Saskatchewan. It is our favourite border because the guards are always courteous and swift. A brief inspection of our pockets and our sleeping quarters was all it took.

Borderguard: "Please empty your pockets"
KJ: "I don't have any pockets"
Borderguard: "Uh, ..., okay, you can go"
 

Borderguard: "Whose literature is that in the back?"
KJ: "uh mine"
Borderguard: "It's still there. you can go."

During the interrogation Young Dave and Mike stood around the inspection lot and rested against a trailer with some of Canada's finest export goods. Kevin managed to get this picture. When we developed the film we discovered a weird coincidence.

It took us a lot longer to get to St. Cloud than we had anticipated, so we almost missed the show. You see, during the drive we discovered that a small North Dakota pub was showing the World Cup of soccer, and we rested 90 minutes and 30 minutes overtime and as long as it took Holland to lose in the shootout rounds against Italy. Then to drown our sorrow we had to indulge in a long lunch break, because when on tour nothing comforts like Dairy Queen.

The show in St. Cloud was fun, our pals the "Fuck Yeah's" came up from Minneapolis with their girlfriends, and the locals filled up the rest of the little coffee place. A great mexican after-gig meal with the Minnesotans hit the spot, and off we went at 4am to Columbus Ohio for a show the next night. travel time 16 hours

After Dave had himself a nice nap, and Mike and Mark had pretty much entertained themselves long enough by driving, we arrived in Columbus. Joined on the stage by Bob City and another band (insert band here) we had a pretty good time. Mike discovered that his amp was busted, so his per diems for the first week were already to be garnished to pay for the repair. A quick stop at Kinko's copyshop where we could update the website (but didn't cause nothing had happened yet) and freshen up after the show, and then on to New York where we had a date with the Muppets the next afternoon. travel time 13 hours
 
Last winter during a snowboard industry conference (see "whistler" photo album) we met Isabel and Julie Miller, and when they told us we could visit the Muppet mansion in New York we thought they were kidding. Then one day we received our invitation to visit the Jim Henson/Muppet mansion, and realized they weren't. We saw Jim Henson's Office, the cool murals all over the place, and we got a tour of the workshop where the muppets come to life. Maybe this is a secret, but the only way that you can tell where this workshop is, is by these markings in front of the building.

Once inside, we encountered this drawer full of muppet eyeballs, and we met a lady who was ironing 50,000 big bird feathers. We saw Dozers that used to be in Fraggle Rock, we met Professor Bunson, Gonzo and a bunch of rats from the movie "Muppets take Manhattan". The highlight, obviously, was meeting Miss Piggy in the costume department.

Our good friends, the Miller family treated us to dinner that night, where KJ got in trouble from the waiters for trying to get our hosts of the age of minority drunk. Dinner was delicious, the company great, and we stayed in the van somewhere near 68th Street on the East side of Central Park. At 9am Mike woke up, plugged the meter, went back to sleep. At 10 am Dave got up, plugged the meter and went back to bed. At 11am we went and had breakfast at a Deli, but not after walking for miles to find a public restroom.

We spent the day shopping for those little statue of Liberties on Time Square, while Mike raced around the city trying to find a place that would fix his amplifier. Mission accomplished, Mike picked everyone up in front of the US Army recruitment center on TIme Square and then went to St. Mark's place, in the 7th Street East area of Manhattan, where Coney Island High is located.

This is also where we first met the Queers and the Nobodies. The show was great, an excellent way to start off the tour. People were worried the Queers wouldn't make the show, but they arrived (chixdiggit style) a few minutes before they were supposed to go on stage. Lots of people at the show, and even outside the whole neighbourhood seemed like a big party. Every five minutes a NYPD blue would come around to ask if we could move our little bus, but we liked it right there, our own home in the middle of the party. Best seats in the house.

A few kind New Yorkers took us to a few bars, and we had a few drinks in the bus afterwards, since we had already decided to call that parking spot our home for the night. Next morning we met Christine who works at Majorleaguebaseball.dom (that's not linked, cause we're not done our story yet) and we had lunch and she invited us all to the offices of Major League Baseball. Parking was hard to come by, so we had to walk quite a ways to get there. Dave didn't mind, made himself comfortable and led the way.

After the New York experiences we were ready to go home, so satisfying was our short stay there. But we still had 25 shows to play, so we moved on. A radio show in Washington DC that was marred by losers trying to say "White Power" on air,  unaware of the technology that prevents such abuse called the 7 second delay. Fun time at the station though. Next day roaming around the Smithsonian, where KJ and Mike saw the Starwars exhibit and Dave, Kevin and Mark lounged with Senators and Lobbyists in a local pub to watch the World Cup Soccer finals. Great crowd that night at the Black Cat, and before driving to South Carolina we stopped at the White House to ask this Secret Service agent if there were lots of chicks around there. We thought we were being rather witty, but forgot that he probably gets asked stupid questions like that all the time.

Anyway, without further incident (but possibly with a huge file at the Pentagon now) we drove a few hours to park at a Denny's. Our plans for a midnight snack foiled by fumigation in progress. The next night we played Chapel Hill, home of many talented bands, and one of the few clubs with a decent shower (our first of the trip).

Atlanta the next night (thanks you Laura for the picture!) where we hung out with Laura and Jen from Florida, our friend Beth (see Whistler photos in photo albums), former Canadian figure skating legend Annie St. Hilaire and our Gord and friends from Columbia Georgia fame (see 1997 USA tour photos). With an all star cast in the audience our night was completed by being invited back to Gord's boat house where Mike first encountered the joy of electronic Bass fishing, and we all enjoyed a few delicious beers.

And then on into the SOUTH... HOT, WOW... New Orleans show was sweaty and a little weird... Nice crowd though, and the brother of the Nobodys singer, JJ, got us $15 rooms at the Best Western he works at. Mark and Mike took a few of the Nobodys out bowling at the 24 hour licenced bowl-a-drome across the street from the hotel. After that they all took a dip in the pool and then Mike was asked by a passer by if he had any beer he could sell her.

Having been in the pool long enough, Mike said he'd go to his room and get her a few, and when he returned he passed off the beer. When she asked if she could drink it in his airconditioned room Mike replied that that wouldn't be such a good idea because it would upset Kevin, KJ and Dave who were sleeping there already.

Always willing to help a suspected prostitute out, Mike kindly pointed her to the Nobodys rooms, where she began to bang loudly on the doors in an effort to stir up what must have been a slow night for business. Perhaps the suggestion to go to those rooms wasn't the best one Mike could have made, because the Nobodys are Christian rockers and will have nothing to do with that sort of amusement.

The next day we moved on to Houston, again a hot night, and this time the hotel rooms weren't subsidised. After the show all the Nobodys, Queers and Chixdiggits went for a swim at the hotel pool, and Kevin had politely invited 6 guys from a New York hardcore band that played downstairs to join us so they could freshen up before their long drive.

Chixdiggit touring rules Chapter 12.4 Paragraph b subsection 3 now reads:

"Thou shalt not invite 6 New York Hardcore Band guys to Chixdiggit's hotel if there are already 20 people going swimming, for such actions increase substantially the risk of getting removed from said premises. This rule shall be directed only at road personnel named Kevin, and shall be deemed void outside of Houston, TX" Not applicable where prohibited by law.
dated: July 1998

Next day: Austin Texas. Weather: Hot. Show: Awesome!!!. We went for BBQ a few blocks down from Emo's, then walked down the trendy red river area to look at all the tattoo parlors. Our first step in working up the nerve to sport some fance Tazmanian Devil Tattoos on our ankles was to puchase real Texas Wife beaters. White cotton undershirts, no sleeves, and so tight, they make you want to drink another six-pack... or go for a long, long run. The shirts sported the Emo's logo and cost us a small fortune... we probably could have had the outline of a nice Ying-Yang done for the money we spent on them.

Celebrities at the show included our pals Scott, Nadine and Rich, who, incidently, is the CEO of the official Chixdiggit lyrics page (to be found through our links page). A small fee was donated to the Tattoo Removal of Austin Clinical Surgeons (T.R.A.C.S) for this mention.

And then after the show we broke down. Got a boost from a friend who lives near the Pepboys garage, so we went for a swim at her apartment complex and then slept in the van from 5am till 7am when the garage opened. Cause of the breakdown: Busted alternator. Cost: $270. By 10am we were sure that we would be missing the El Paso show that night, but we drove as fast as the speed limit would allow, and arrived with a few minutes to spare.

After the El Paso show we all went to Ciudad Juarez across the border, and roamed endlessly from bar to bar in pursuit of inexpensive liquor, the legendary Chupacabras and the Donkey show (which we believe doesn't actually exist, unlike the Chupacabra.)

Without any serious run-ins with the Mexican police we returned to El Paso and slept a few hours to prepare for the long drive to Tempe AZ.

On that drive something remarkable happened, but before you read on you must promise that you will not tell the Catholic Church about the following, lest our tourbus becomes a sacred object for old ladies from all over Portugal.

A weird shadow appeared slightly above the couch that also doubles as Kevin's bed. It was right near the Niagara Falls Thermometer the Groovie Ghoulies had gotten for us. We looked at it and nearly froze! The sign of the lord right there in our van. Perhaps touring with the religious band the Nobodys had blessed us after all! We looked all over for what could be causing the shadow, but to no avail. Even a picture from another angle clearly showed us what Mark already knew from Catholic school: Blessed are the meek. (and yes we were meek after all that heat in the south.)

After that experience, even Keving began to look rather angelic.

With our new found experience, we began to forgive eachother for all the discomforts we cause eachother, like the sight of Mark in the nude every morning. (that weird vortex is a little photoshop graphic to protect the innocent. You that is... not Mark)

After the HOT Arizona show, we drove overnight (that's right, a picture of the van here) to San Diego to escape the heat. We arrived at the ocean at 9am and went for a swim, after which we called our friend Sharon, who has the best apartment in the world. Two reasons for that. No, three. She's a great host, she lives close to the beach, and she makes great margaritas. She coincided some mental health time with our arrival (ironically) and we all went boogie boarding all day. Next day lunch with Laura and Michelle, and then we played in Corona, CA and returned to the beach afterwards. Next day back up to LA, this time a show at the Roxy, which was, just like last year with the Muffs, awesome and sold out. Mark celebrated the event by chucking his old running shoes over the nearest street sign. 

You guessed it: another overnight drive, this time to San Francisco.  Show at Slims was super cool, and we kicked the Nobodys asses at football in the back alley. The Nobodys and the Queers left for Portland and Seattle the next day, but we had some stuff to take care of in San Diego, so we drove (all night, you get the drill) back south. Another great day at the beach, Kevin went and got himself a great tattoo at Avalon, and we went for drinks at the Casbah and the a few other bars we can't remember.

Another great day at the beach, then we said bye to Kevin who had to end his vacation with us that day. A super fun drunk show at the Casbah with friends the Dragons and Pansy Division and Alien Crime sysndicate. Hung out with drunk Ted at Pure Platinum, a quaint little pub across the way. Freakmagnet was there, as well as a score of other San Diegans, and we had a blast.

Slept in the van in front of the club, and Mike set the alarm for 6am as we had to drive back to San Francisco. Dave woke up muttering "What kind of sick joke is THIS?" after which Mike explained that it would take forever to drive back to San Francisco, and Dave started driving. Oops, we arrived in SF at 3 in the afternoon, due to a small miscalculation Mike had made: it was Sunday, so there was virtually no traffic in LA. Oh well, under fire from the other boys Mike tried to distract from the erroneous wake up time by suggesting a great dinner at Pen Phnom, our favourite restaurant in the USA.

That night we played a 30 minute cover set for photographer Peter Ellenby's birthday, and we were reunited with many friends from the bay area. A kick ass hot tub party afterwards at Jeff and Van's. Next morning breakfast served by the world's best waitress. (I'll elaborate when I get some pictures of this event)

Off to Sacramento, playground of the Groovie Ghoulies, who hung out with us at the show. Then Reno (won $75 between the whole band, drank 48oz margs, played a weird show, gambled all night until cut-off from free drinks since we only gambled $3 hands and took time out to drink our free cocktails. after getting cut off we had $2.07 chicken fried steaks with corn, and then retired for a few hours before driving to Salt Lake City)

Salt Lake show was fun, but sounded a little bad due to the cramped surroundings in a cavern like club. After the show an all night drive to Denver. We caravanned with the Nobodys because their bus was dying, just to be sure that we could help them out if needed. The trip took forever, and we stopped in Laramie Wyoming to have a mechanic look at our van, which was sounding a little funny. Since no one could help us out, Mike did laundry, and then we prodeeded to Denver where we played a big old theater named the Aztlan. Great show for all the bands, and Sharon's cousin showed up, and we hung out with her and a friend while the other bands played.

This was Turd's, the Queers' t-shirt guy's birthday, so KJ got him loaded and allowed him to vomit all over an IHOP, a tavern and some girl's car outside the bar. A loudmouth was told by KJ that he should be quiet, after which the guy got all huffy, an attitude he surpressed when he leaned on a half opened car window and cracked it into a million pieces.

Next day's show was in Kansas, but at this point the weird sounds in the engine began to creep up in the lack of performance of the van too. Several stops at garages all with little result because they were all too busy to help us. A stop at Walmart then, just to be sure the oil was clean. A good time for Mike to think about personal hygene. (before........after)

Missed the show because we couldn't drive faster than 40 MPH, and decided to keep moving to St. Louis, so we could have the van looked at during the day. Good move, since we spent the first 3 hours going from garage to garage without find any help or even compassion. That was, until we found K-mar automotive. Cletus W. Kiefer, proprietor of "Kiefer's ministry of auto repairs) was the first man to help us. His business card read: "Bringing back the American Tradition: Fervent in the Spirit, serving the Lord"

Gotta hand it to him, he was the first one to help us. Weird. Christians 2-Disbelievers 0. Maybe we can be the next MXPX.

Cletus told us the problem wasn't the carburator, but a leak in the main gasket in the new engine. Good news to some degree, since that was under warranty. Bad news that nobody had the time to fix it, not even Cletus (who couldn't do Ford warranty work).

So we moved on, crippled engine and with blessings from K-mar and Ford Canada, whom we notified of our woes.

St. Louis show was amazing, great big party before, during and after the show, and we got up way too late to make it to Chicago in time for sound check. In attendance at the St. Louis show was our friend if Beetle Bob, who is great to hang out with, but it's not such a good idea to watch him dance while you play, cause he will screw up the entire band's rhythm with his staccato paced dancing. On the drive the next morning, we had the Turd and Randy from the Nobodys with us, so we HAD to make the show, or we would cripple the other two bands too.

Showed up at the Metro about 10 minutes before the Nobodys had to play, and the show was huge. We had to decide that night to forego the Green Bay show the next day since the van was running very roughly and we knew it wouldn't make it all the way there and then back home. We realised later that this had been a wise decision. After the show we said our goodbyes to our tourmates and our our friends Dave and Chris, and started the drive home. Normally this trip has taken us 32 hours of staight driving, but we knew it was going to take longer with our engine running the way it did. The following sequence is predictable, and very repetitive, but if you really want to know what it was like, humour us and click all the numbers in sequence.
1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10... 11... 12... 13...  (now go back to 1 and repeat for 37 hours)

Then we got to the Canadian border, at Portal, the same crossing we had visited 29 days earlier. Having just freshened up at the duty free (and thus looking guilty of something... anything... with our wet and combed hair over our unshaven cheeks) we pulled up at the inspector's booth. She asked KJ to shut off the van, peeked inside, wrinkled up her nose and said "Carry on."

At this point the van took about 2 minutes of cranking the starter to start running, and with the antifreeze leaking into the oil, the resulting effect was an enormous smoke show, obscuring the entire town of Portal, ND. We apologise to the kind folk at the border crossing for this incident.

An hour later we pulled up at a Husky gas station, and gassed up. Since it seemed like a good a time as any to have breakfast, we decided to park the bus. To save the poor folk of Estevan SK from the smoke show, we pushed the bus to the parking lot, drawing stares from about 60 coffe drinking farmers. (none of which offered to help) Mike got a pretty good shot of it, although the glare obscures about 45 of the spectators.

Breakfast was delicious. Onwards to Calgary.

10 Hours later we broke down completely, without being able to restart the van. Luck had it that we were parked on top of a hill just outside of Swift Current SK. With the van in Glasgow gear (or Dutch gear, to appease you Scottish) we rolled into town, straight to the Ford dealership. hid the keys (won't tell you where) and called for a ride home (Thanks Lori!)

We got home two and a half days after we left chicago, with 19,600 Kilometers on the engine... Warranty covered it for 20,000 so had we accidently made it home, we would have voided it. Had we played the Green Bay show, we would have voided it, and have been stuck in Menomonie Wisconsin (we did the math). Our apologies to Time Bomb Tom in Green Bay, and all our friends there. But we're glad in retrospect that we decided not to risk it.

When we got home it was full on hot summer in Calgary. Not hot like Texas, but a nice hot, with lots of swimming in the river and slurpees and stuff.  Mike took the Greyhound out to Saskatchewan and drove back once the new engine was installed 2 weeks later.

And that was the story of our tour. Thank you for your time!