Euro Diary, Today's update from Kopenhagen, Denmark. This is the country people always think I'm from. I'm flattered. These people are great hosts. Everyone's telling us to skip the whole mermaid thing and to just go check out the town instead. We'll do that tomorrow morning, or perhaps after the show tonight. Last night was our first show, in Hamburg. Great time. The audience was super great and treated themselves to a bunch of our t-shirt and cd offerings

Since I need to erase the first entry when I load this up, let me remind the readers that we landed in Berlin 2 days ago where we were whisked from the airport to the courthouse. Our roadie "Mutti", familiar to the readers of the previous tour diary, had to stand trial for being arrested for protesting (against nazis) and being masked while doing so. There are laws here that prohibit being masked, but when you're dealing with right wing shitheads, it makes good sense to hide your identity. The judge understood, we think. $500 fine if he does it again this year. No biggie. Long live Mutti for fighting for justice for all.

This is the "Highway Tiger," the van we're going to be driving around Europe in for the next 6 weeks. Lots of room. More than last tour. We're not feeling so good right now because one of our new Danish friends has just informed us that the Danish word for "nipple" translates directly to "Breast Wart"... That doesn't sound very sexy to us. running your tongue over your loved one's breast wart... try getting that one into Penthouse Letters.

This is the ferry between Denmark and Germany. It contains a duty free store and a restaurant. This is the farthers North we've ever been on tour. Tonight opening band is "All Occupied" from around here. We just finished dinner and we're on the way back to the club.

Chixdiggit with a disinterested looking Mermaid in the background.

None of us knew how beautiful Kopenhagen would be. We saw the grave of Hans Christian Andersen (among others) and the mandatory stop by the mermaid. The locals all told us it wasn't worth the walk, but we love site seeing, so that was no big deal. We're not sure how they manage to keep the smokestacks from across the harbour out of all those lovely photos we all remember.

Next stop: a "freestate" in Kopenhagen called Christianna. A former military base now occupied by squatters. A huge community, mostly alcohol and hard drug free. One thing in common for the people living there: they all seem to really enjoy their hasj and weed. Tall blonde rastafarians or something. Fun time, if you're into that sort of thing.

Now over at Bad Taste Records, in Sweden, just across the new $130 a ride bridge from Kopenhagen in Lund. Tonight's club looks great. Dinner was a weird huge slice of hot-dog. About the size of a hockey puck, but much nicer texture. Great with potatos. We'll have two days off soon because one show fell through, so we're going to a St. Pauli soccer match in Hamburg in a few days. Then off to England.

Our only Swedish show of the tour was awesome. We're in the van on the way back to Germany now, and there's nothing to see on the side of the road due to thick fog. Mutti tried to show us something interesting on our right hand side, but on further inspection he was just trying to keep us from seeing (and wanting to visit) an IKEA store on the left. Mutti does not believe in furniture with first names..

After the Scandinavian shows a quick ferry back to germany to play in a small town called Lehrte. We've played here last year too.

The day after the Lehrte show was an off day because the show in Bochum was cancelled. This sort of stuff happens from time to time, but this particular show would have been great fun because we would meet up with old friends The Nobodys. Both them and the Groovie Ghoulies are touring Europe too right now, as are the Ataris, and chances are we won't run into any of them.

So on the day off we went to see Mutti's favourite soccer team play in Hamburg. The picture above shows the chanting crowds supporting St. Pauli. Great game, lots of goals, although St. Pauli fell back from a 3-0 lead to an even 3-3 game against the visiting team (can't pronounce or spell it)

That night we stayed at Mutti's parent's house near Hanover and in the morning a rather long drive to Hulst in the south of Holland to spend a night at Mike's relatives.

And then a ferry to England. Pictured above, the white cliffs of Dover. A small hassle at the border over work permits. Mark, born in Dublin, Ireland, does not have an Irish passport, but still qualifies as an Irish citizen.This takes some explaining to the British immigration people, but luckily one of them was Irish too, so he let Mark in without documents. It's nice to see people taking care of their own.

A rather crappy drive to Derby after that. The ring road around London is jammed with people driving shitty, changing lanes for no reason, backed up turnpikes and and otherelements that slowed us down to crawl speed for several hours. When we finally made it through, time for some fish and chips. This set us back about $18 each, for a very mediocre fast food meal.

When we arrived (rather late) in Derby, the club was packed and we pretty much jumped right up on stage. An awesome crowd. They knew our songs, sang along and made a lot of noise. In the back stage area there was a deli tray with (among other things) some raw onions on it. We're not sure why.

It's early morning on Wednesday the 18th October, and we're on the way across Wales to Hollyhead where we take yet another ferry, to Dublin this time. We're leaving the van in England to save some cash. So we'll be sitting on top of our guitars on the way to Dublin. We're probably hopping right back onto the boat after the show in preparation for a long drive to Exeter tomorrow

Oct 20, 2000 Dublin... what can we say. nice room, devastated back stage area. Fish and Chip shop let us know they don't put vinegar on the tables so that junkies don't dip their needles in the bottles to clean the needles. PA system in the club sounds like an AM radio and our whole set sounds like we're ministry. Kind of a shame to travel such a long way and still leave the people at the club with no idea what we really sound like. Funny cab driver on the way back to the ferry. Told us a joke that ended with the moral "if a fly drops 6 inches you'll end up with a wet pussy. With the Irish accent it was quite priceless.

Long drive to Exeter. We arrived at the Cavern club at around 5pm and sound checked, mingled with openers "Shoe" and "4ft Fingers". By the time Shoe hit the stage the club was already packed. A real nice treat always, to play a place you've never been to before and to fill the room. From stage it looked like this:

Yeah we pretty much all agreed this place rocked. The openers were great bands, the backstage was clean, the beer was free (unusual in England I guess) and the crowd spectacular. A few people had driven quite a ways to see the show.

Today we're driving by Stonehenge, to see if it's worth the $10 to go into the grounds. I wonder if the druids had this price of admission in mind when they built the place.

It turns out that it cost a mere 4 pounds each to get a closer look at Stonehenge. Mutti, trusty tour driver, complained that this is a place for hippies, not punk rockers. All we can think of when we see this place is Spinal Tap. Overheard on the Chixdiggit bus as we approach the place: "It's not very big is it?" and "This better be good".

Well, the druids meant well when building this thing. And I guess after dragging those rocks for many miles from Wales, they decided to compromise on the bathroom facilities.

Oct 21, 2000 Currently on our way to Wolverhampton. Last night the Southampton show was sold out. That's 3 for 3 on the UK shows. Really great. When we first found out that it would cost a small forutne to take the ferry to the UK we weren't sure if it would be worth it.

Now we know it was worth every Pence.

From Southampton to Wolverhampton. Long drive. We're the headlining band in an 11 band line-up. Sort of flattering, but the kids seem a bit comatose by the time we play. Onward to London.

Our friend from Calgary, Sara, guided us around London during the few spare hours we had. Picture with some bobbies, a walk around some landmarks. Great time. Back to the van to collect our things and get to the Underworld.

When we got there the back door appeared to be slightly ajar. We exchange a few worried looks before walking around the van. A broken window. We open the back door: 3 guitars missing.

This is a bit of a bummer. KJ and Mark bought new guitars 10 days ago, and Mike's favourite Fender is missing too. When we call the Police (probably busy posing for photos with tourists) they tell us they won't come down to the crime scene and we get a claim number.

We have no idea what to do at this point. We have a show to play that night, so we make our way to the venue. Last night we met a band called Douglas, with whom we have some friends in common in Canada. They're so kind to lend us their guitars so we can still play the show. The show is absolutely great. We're pretty disgusted with the whole car prowling, but after the show everyone feels a little better.

At this point we're happy to leave England behind. We first drive up to Nottingham to pick up replacement guitars and then the next morning we look for new pedals, cables and strings. Then a long drive/ferry/drive to Spain. By the time we arrived here spirits seem to have been restored somewhat.

Spanish hospitality is supreme, and we all get our own hotel rooms, a great dinner at our favourite restaurant in the whole world. We discussed the stinky cheese place last tour also. A table covered with local cheeses, hams, salamis, calamari, nicoise salad. We love this place.

The show in Oviedo was great. Familiar faces from our last show here, about a year ago, and also a host of new people. After the show a night on the town, which pretty much stays open till 6am (and maybe later, but we have to sleep sometime.)

We've just heard from home that the Calgary show at MacHall has been confirmed for the 25th of November. We've invited local friends Belvedere, Downway and Knucklehead to play with us. A few west coast shows will follow in early December. We find out soon if we get dates on the Warped tour in Australia.

From Oviedo on to Ponferrada where we finally got a chance to wash our clothes. The show was awesome and we visited another late night rock and roll bar. They love staying up late here. The siesta in the afternoon is a nec essity because of all the speed these people snort. Nice folks though.

Before the drive to Madrid our clothes are not available from the lavoratoia because they're having their siesta. We move on to the next town without our clothes.

Madrid rules. just like last year, the bar was packed and the kids sang along to everything we played. After the show to Louie Louie and Bar No Fun where festivites lasted till 8am. Then an anchovie sandwich. We declined to go to a few more parties because we need a few hours of sleep.

Our clothes are supposed to arrive in Madrid by train, but by the time we have to leave for Bilbao they're not there yet. Kike, our trusty promotor promises us the clothes will follow us there. It's been 3 days now since we've had clean stuff, so we're crossing our fingers. Upon arrival in Bilbao they're waiting for us. Clean socks. Sometimes the pleasures in life are simple.

Overnight drive to Switserland where we reunite with our Swiss promotor Sigi and his friends. Both Langenthal and Winterthur show evidence that our shows from last year paid off. Great crowds. Thanks to Tortilla Flats and the Snotty Cheekbones for their great shows. The Snotyy cheekbones told us they wrote a song about something we said to them last year. The T-shirt guy gets all the chicks.

And now we're in Genova, Italy where we were fed at a small restaurant. The chef came out of the kitchen repeatedly with another specialty only he knows how to make. Great stuff. Nice town too. Skinny little streets where we found this sad looking statue.

.

Great Halloween show. Onward to Bologna where we visited the old town prior to playing a show at Il Covo. In the old town centre, someone has desecrated an 800 year old wall with a flyer for a punk show.

The building on the left belonged to a rich guy who thought living in a tower was a show of wealth. On the right is the bottom of a higher tower built by a richer guy a few years later. Both towers lean. Must have happened after Pisa because we've never heard of the twin leaning towers of Bologna.

And then into Slovenia, where the highway tolls are a mere fraction of those in other parts of Europe. Next to the club there's an archery range, so we watched that for a while. Boring sport. Stand still, fire off a few arrows. Make sure you don't raise your heartbeat at all. Not the sport for food lovers and travellers. Not to mention the hassle at the border with bows and arrows in tow. Fun show. Most of the kids here knew of us from the myriad of Fat compilations floating around these parts.

The Austrian border was a hassle. For some reason you cannot leave the European Community and come back in with your own guitars. (or those rented because your own guiters were stolen in London). Mutti talked our way through. Mike got searched a little extra because a Dutch citizenship must mean drug use. Why not assume Dutch people are great painters instead of junkies.

Heading into Germany tomorrow. Tonight we're in Vienna. Looks like it's going to be fun. A huge complex with stages, bars and stuff. Sounds like a party..

Tour Wrap up.

Vienna was indeed a great party. The hall we played in was packed and the crowd fantastic. From here on we just had a short number of shows before returning home.

The show in Munich was great too. Afterwards we stayed with the promotor who had his apartment clad in hardcore posters. A survey of the posters found no evidence of the existence of girls at these shows. Lots of sweaty young men hiding behind microphones in front of their faces, aimed down. Lots of tattoos, muscle-y arms, short hair, and lots of people claiming to be from Orange County (which is a nice middle class neighbourhood mostly... hardly the rough street life that's being claimed... unless your pocket money just got cut.

On the poster for 25 ta Life or something it says Unity, Respect, Loyalty. Funny cause it also reads "featuring ex members of incredible pain, Nihalistic front and Eat my guilt".

Loyalty?

After this we travelled through Germany, Holland and Belgium. When we arrived in Berlin, we discovered something shocking. After the show at Wild at Heart we walked around a little and then we stumbled across the following posters.

Now let's compare this to the guitar that Mike Eggermont used to own before the trip to London, England, home of Gordon Sumner, aka "Sting".

OK, Sting, do the right thing man. Turn yourself in.

The end.

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